EMDR at Home: Can You Really Do EMDR Therapy on Your Own?

Yes and No

Can you do EMDR at home, on your own? This is such a great question and one that I asked myself when I was first trained in EMDR. I want to be able to use this tool whenever I want! I am also hyper independent and would prefer to never need anyone’s help.

As a social worker, we are basically ingrained with the idea that the answer to most questions is, it depends. So, for all you hyper independent people, I am not saying no, but I am not saying yes. Alas...

Most of the clients I work with, I eventually talk to about how to do this work outside of therapy on their own.

Let’s talk first about why it’s important to do this work with a therapist, and then I promise I will talk about how you can do processing on your own.

Why is it important to do EMDR with a therapist?

How EMDR uses your body’s natural processing system

EMDR uses the processing system in our body that is already there. We are not creating a new way of processing. We are asking the processing system that is already in place to kick on with specific memory networks lit up.

Think about it like we place you on a specific trail and then start spinning the wheels. We are working intentionally on specific wounds and traumas because you came into the therapy room telling us that you have these specific symptoms that you want to reduce, and ideally be gone. So then we map, we figure out what is driving that system, and then use bilateral stimulation to target the original wound and heal it.

Why doing EMDR on your own can feel overwhelming

When we are mapping and doing this work and start processing, we are working with the subconscious mind. Along that trail there are all these little offshoots and channels that we could go down. If we aren’t careful (or trained), we can get lost and overwhelm the nervous system.

There are also side effects of EMDR. If we are not working with a trained clinician who can monitor where we should go and which trails may need more support, we can have a really tough time navigating the path, and navigating the side effects after we process.

Why childhood and attachment wounds need extra support

This is especially true with childhood abuse and/or attachment wounds. Part of the healing process is the therapeutic relationship and the safety created in the room to help you move through the forest. Attachment wounds have slippery slopes and sharp curves that can feel scary alone.

Big trauma can be so overwhelming to the amygdala that the body shuts down and won’t allow processing to occur. But an excellent EMDR therapist is the sun, the steady, grounded presence that guides and supports you along the journey, making it doable.

Can you do EMDR at home on your own?

Ok independents!! Here is your section. Does all this mean I always need someone helping me? I mean, let’s be honest, therapy is an investment of time and money, and although VERY worth it, we don’t want to have to do this forever.

So here is the scoop. I do believe that you can do EMDR at home, on your own, AFTER you heal some big wounds or most of them, AND you have reestablished a strong inner relationship with yourself.

For example, I have done work on my own and with a therapist. I know when I need help and guidance and when I can move through something on my own. My personal gauge is this: if it stems from childhood, I want support. If it’s a current stress, I help my body move through it with bilateral stimulation (more on the different forms below).

What is the goal of EMDR therapy?

The main goal for all the therapists who work with me at Santosha is to help you heal the old wounds so that you can move into life without the extra weight and handle life stressors as they come.

Life is full of suffering and joy. We don’t get one without the other. So we want all our clients to feel grounded and content, so that when a hard time comes at them, they can face it head on, connected and capable. They may use bilateral stimulation to support their body in processing it, but they don’t have the old wounds making it harder.

My favorite way to visualize this is to think of a volcano. We are all big, beautiful volcanoes full of power. When we have lots of unresolved issues from our past, our volcano is full and everything makes us erupt. If we can heal the old wounds, we only erupt if it’s necessary (and sometimes it is). Usually we are calm, or have some lava movement, but it’s manageable.

How can you use bilateral stimulation at home?

I have ALL my clients, whether they are brand new to EMDR or have been working with us for six months or a few years, engage in bilateral stimulation because it’s good for all of us.

Bilateral stimulation is any back and forth movement that kicks on the left brain and right brain, back and forth. Some examples:

• Walking
• Running
• Riding a bike
• Swimming
• Writing (one of my favorites)
• Playing music
• Butterfly tapping

You can go for a walk, think about a stressful moment, and usually feel better about it by the end of the walk.

We also love love love Wevana tabs for processing and encourage clients to grab a pair for home if it’s in your budget. We are obsessed with the company and their dedication to helping people regulate and heal.

Using slow bilateral movement to calm your nervous system

If you engage in slow back and forth movement, such as a slow walk, butterfly tapping, or the slow setting on the Wevana tabs, it can down-regulate your nervous system, helping you calm down and helping you sleep.

Why REM sleep is the most powerful form of bilateral processing

The most powerful form of bilateral processing is REM sleep. REM sleep metabolizes our emotions and experiences throughout the day, and that’s the same system we use in EMDR.

Get a good night’s sleep and you will process what you need. Get a year of good nights’ sleep and maybe you will be healed! We all know how hard it is to get good sleep, and that will be my next blog post.

So, can you do EMDR at home?

So, there you have it. Yes and no, you can do EMDR at home! Maybe not the answer you were looking for, but my last thought on this is: you shouldn’t have to do this work alone.

Find a good therapist to walk with you and help hold the hard things when you can’t, so you can keep moving forward on your healing journey.

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