How to Know if EMDR Therapy is Right for You

Do I Need EMDR Therapy?

The signs you need EMDR therapy aren't always obvious, especially if you've never tried therapy before, or if you're not sure what you're dealing with is serious enough to warrant it. My honest answer is that I think EMDR is helpful for almost everyone. If life isn't perfect and you've never tried it, it's probably worth exploring.

That said, there are specific patterns that show up again and again in people who really benefit from EMDR. If you recognize yourself in any of these, that's worth paying attention to.

Your Emotions Are Information

This is one of the most important things I can tell you, so I'll say it twice: your emotions are information. Be curious about them. Notice the patterns. Ask yourself why you feel what you feel, and when you have that answer, ask why again.

Try the Why Exercise

Here's a real example from my own life.

My husband mentioned that I get up too early. My feelings got hurt.

Why did that hurt my feelings? I got defensive and went quiet.

Why? I didn't want him to think I was annoying for waking him up.

Why does it matter if he finds me annoying? Because he might not want to be around me.

Why does that matter? Because then we won't have a happy marriage and he'll leave.

Why does that matter? Because I don't want to be alone.

That's the wound. I'm afraid of being alone. From one comment about waking him up, I jumped all the way to: he's going to leave. When I said it out loud, I almost laughed, because it's so far from the truth. But I had some attachment wounds from childhood that made being left feel like a real possibility. That was worth looking at, and eventually, I healed it.

Signs That EMDR Therapy Might Be Right for You

This isn't an exhaustive list, but these are some of the most common patterns I see.

• Big emotional reactions that feel hard to control. Maybe you snap at your spouse over something small, or the person walking down the middle of the grocery store aisle sends your blood pressure through the roof. (That one may or may not be a real frustration of mine.) When your reactions feel bigger than the moment calls for, that's worth getting curious about.
• You take things personally and get defensive. That fire in your chest that makes you want to snap back, that's information.
• You and your partner argue about the same things, over and over. You think it's about the chores. It's usually about something older than that.
• Friendships in your life have a pattern of ending in conflict. It's easy to find fault in other people, and no one is perfect. But if this is a recurring pattern, something on your end is worth looking at too. That's not a criticism. It's something to hold with compassion.
• You go through periods of low mood or depression that seem to come from nowhere.
• You feel anxious most days that something bad is going to happen, even without much evidence that it will.
• You people please. It's often less about being kind and more about avoiding the discomfort of conflict.
• You have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.
• Your body has a hard time calming down. You struggle to rest, even when nothing specific is wrong.
• You have persistent negative beliefs about yourself or the world. Things like: I'm worthless. I have to be perfect to be loved. People aren't safe.
• Chronic health issues or pain that won't resolve. When the body is carrying unprocessed stress, it can struggle to move toward healing.
• You have long COVID. Long COVID has a high correlation with unresolved trauma.

EMDR Isn't Only for Trauma

A lot of the people we get to work with have had good childhoods and some stressful stretches, but nothing they would label as trauma. That's okay. Life is hard for all of us in different ways, and we can all benefit from letting go of the negative beliefs and patterns that just won't shift, no matter how hard we try.

For people who have lived through serious trauma, EMDR is one of the fastest and most gentle ways to move through it.

What About Everything Going On Right Now?

No matter your political beliefs, most of us can agree that life feels pretty unpredictable at the moment. As humans, we struggle with uncertainty. We like clear lines, and those are hard to find right now. EMDR won't change what's happening in the world, but it can help you find a steadier place to stand while you navigate it.

You Choosing to Heal Makes an Impact

At Santosha, we want to help one person at a time, and then another, and then another. Every person who does this work touches around fifty other people. That's a real ripple effect, and we want that momentum to keep moving outward through our community.

You choosing to heal will make an impact.